15 Jokes About Accountants

BY Tami Brehse In Profitability On Aug 10, 2016 With 2 Comments

“If you can't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer than you'd like.”

It’s one of our favorite quotes (from the 2004 flick Garden State, by the way) because it’s so true. When you take yourself too seriously, the tiniest problems can throw you off course as if they were actual disasters.

In the spirit of self-deprecation, we’ve compiled 15 of our favorite jokes about accountants, with a few bonus comics to boot.

See one you love? Share it on Facebook or Twitter!


  1. What’s the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him.


  1. What does CPA stand for? Can't Pass Again.


  1. There are two rules for creating a successful accounting business:

1) Don’t tell them everything you know.

2) [Redacted]


  1. How can you tell if an accountant is extroverted? He looks are your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.


  1. A woman was told she only had 6 months to live.

“Oh my God!” said the woman. “What shall I do?”

“Marry an accountant,” suggested the doctor.

“Why?” asked the woman. “Will that make me live longer?”

“No,” replied the doctor. “But it will SEEM longer.”


  1. An accountant is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don’t understand.


  1. What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows he’s boring.


  1. What’s an accountant’s favorite book? 50 Shades of Grey.


  1. Have you heard the joke about the interesting accountant? No? Us either.


  1. How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.


  1. Why do accountants look forward to the weekends? Because they can wear casual clothes to work.


  1. What did the accountant’s wife say when she couldn’t fall asleep? “Darling, tell me about your work.”


  1. How do accountants make a bold fashion statement? Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.


  1. What did the accountant say when he got a blank check? “My deductions have finally caught up with the salary.”


  1. What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? Invite an accountant.


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Additional Reading

How to Choose the Right Entity

10 Questions to Ask an Accountant Before Hiring

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